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Ten Things Not to Say After a Breakup PDF Print E-mail
Written by Administrator   
Wednesday, 09 November 2011 20:44

Check out the 10 things you should never, ever say to a friend after a break up.

After a long term relationship ends, we in the gay community often don't know what to do.  Sure, we're used to the three month rotating boyfriend, but what about when a long term couple breaks up. How do you support your friend without saying the wrong thing.  Here are some tips.

1. “Didn’t you see this coming from the beginning?” Busted! I glimpsed into the future and saw disaster and ruination but planned an entire life with him anyway because I enjoy a good crushing life-blow. Next time around, a little heads-up?

2. “I always hated [insert scorned ex’s name here].” Do you mean you always hated the man who I thought I would love forever and said so in front of everyone I knew on the best day of my life? Gee, thanks. (If you chose to marry (or have a domestic partnership with scorned ex, this statement is 168 times more offensive.)

3. “OMG. Do you think I’ll break up, too?” The good news for you is that breaking up is not contagious. The bad news is you may get dumped for being so damn insensitive and self-centered.

4. “How do you find the strength to get out of bed in the morning?” It’s a break up-- not the zombie apocalypse!

5. “My partner and I had problems -- but we decided to try harder and work it out.” Sometimes the best intentions, dogged determination, and all the counseling in the world just isn’t enough to fix what’s broke. That’s a scary thing to accept -- which I suppose is why many people haven’t.

6. "My partner and I have problems – just the other day we got in a big fight about whose turn it was to unload the dishwasher!” Can I please join you in your alternate reality?

7. “What a bummer! … Hey, does that mean I can mess around with him now?” Not unless you want to lose a friend for a fuck.

8. “When are you going to start dating again?” Immediately. Once those men see this tear-streaked basket case, I'm sure I'll be partnered again in no time.

9. “Oh no! Does this mean you are going to be a total whore now?” Yes.  Now that I'm single, I am going straight to the bath house.  Just because I was in a monogamous relationship for 6 years doesn't mean anything.  He was just holding me back from being a slut.  

10. But the worst thing to say to a newly single friend is … nothing at all. Call me dramatic, but many people will tell you that dealing with a break up is just as painful, stressful, and life-altering as dealing with a death of a loved one. If a friend had a close family member or friend pass away, would you avoid the topic and pretend everything was business as usual? No, you would say things like, “I’m here for you. You’ll get through this. I care about you.” Guess what? Same thing goes for divorce. Just because it’s awkward doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it.

Last Updated on Wednesday, 09 November 2011 20:58